Favorite Comedy Quotes
Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!Dave Buznik
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded.
You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!Dr. Buddy Rydell
I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!Lou
Eskimos seem nice.Lou
I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.Dave Buznik
Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!Dr. Buddy Rydell
Dr. Buddy Rydell: She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea.
Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew... the testicle with legs.
Dave Buznik: Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one in anger management.
Bobby Knight: What? I don't need anger management! I thought this was sexaholics anonymous!
Dave Buznik: Uh, I think that's down the hall.
Bobby Knight: Oh, screw this!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'm going to need you to retard your anger.
Dave Buznik: It's retarded. I'm retarded.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Now you are going to go up to her and tell her the following, "I'm sorry I was so rude before but it's difficult for me to express myself when I am on the verge of exploding in my pants."
Dave Buznik: Huh ... No!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Listen, if you don't tell her that, I'll fail you and send you to prison.
Dave Buznik: So if I go up to her and repeat that crazy shit probably stolen from a porno film, you sick bastard, you'll release me from the program?
Chuck: Yeah? And I'm sure I just heard him mutter some kind of anti-Semitic remark.
Dave Buznik: Are you Jewish?
Chuck: I could be, but no. Half Irish, half Italian, half Mexican.