Favorite Comedy Quotes
Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble.Pete
Pete: Well hell, it ain't square one! Ain't nobody gonna pick up three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at look at Delmar here as your paradigm of hope.
Delmar O'Donnell: Yeah, look at me.
I don't want FOP Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan Man!Ulysses Everett McGill
Well, it didn't look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.Ulysses Everett McGill
Friend? Some of your foldin' money is come unstowed.Delmar O'Donnell
I'm gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. You ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land.Delmar O'Donnell
Jesus saves, George Nelson withdraws!George Nelson
Delmar O'Donnell: We thought you was a toad!
Delmar O'Donnell: [leaning in, speaking slower] We thought you was a toad!
Do not seek the treasure!Pete
You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.Blind Seer
Shake a leg Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth. If she'd have seen you, she'd have died o' shame.Pappy O'Daniel
I detect, like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.Ulysses Everett McGill