Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

I'm a snow beast!

Toula Portokalos

Gus Portokalos: Kimono, kimono, kimono. Ha! Of course! Kimono is come from the Greek word himona, is mean winter. So, what do you wear in the wintertime to stay warm? A robe. You see: robe, kimono. There you go!

Maria Portokalos: Where did you go?
Nick Portokalos: Nowhere.
Maria Portokalos: What did you do?
Nick Portokalos: Nothing.
Maria Portokalos: Who did you see?
Nick Portokalos: No one.

If nagging were an Olympic sport, my Aunt Voula would win a gold medal!

Toula Portokalos

Ian Miller: My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.
Toula Portokalos: [horrified, looking at wedding invites] Rodney and HARRY!
Nick Portokalos: We didn't notice, so maybe they won't.

Maria Portokalos: What is wrong with Toula going to school downtown?
Gus Portokalos: Is drugs downtown!
Maria Portokalos: What are you saying? Are you saying Toula will get involved with drugs?
Gus Portokalos: No. But somebody will say to her: take this bag down to the bus depot, and she'll do it!
Maria Portokalos: She is not stupid! She's smart!
Gus Portokalos: I know she's smart. So what for she needs more school? She's smart enough for a girl.
Maria Portokalos: Oh! You think you're smarter than me, huh?
Gus Portokalos: No, I... I mean... You... you know...

Maria Portokalos: Ian, are you hungry?
Ian Miller: Uh no, I already ate.
Maria Portokalos: Okay, I make you something.

Yianni: Ian, if you're gonna be in this family, I get you some earplugs because the Portokalos women, if they're not nagging someone... THEY DIE!
Toula Portokalos: Ah, you're in so much trouble when I tell my sister!
Athena: Tell me what?

Aunt Voula: Toula. Toula! You're engaged. You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you. Never. *Never.* Taki, didn't we say that...
Uncle Taki: We never think this day would come. Never.

[describing Ian] A xeno with big, long, hair on top of his head!

Gus Portokalos

Toula Portokalos: [narrating] My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non Greeks about being Greek and every ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy can be cured with Windex.

FREE Movie Newsletter