Favorite Comedy Quotes
Alex Foreman: You're kind of a bizarrely honest guy, huh?
Carter Duryea: No, just around you.
Alex Foreman: [laughs while kissing Carter]
Carter Duryea: What?
Alex Foreman: Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about how my dad said he wired this place with video surveillance.
Carter Duryea: Yeah, that's hilarious.
Carter Duryea: I'm gonna have to let some people go.
Dan Foreman: Why do you say let them go? They don't WANT to go. Why don't you just say fire them?
Carter Duryea: Because it sounds better.
Dan Foreman: Not to the person getting fired it doesn't.
I'll drop kick you across the restaurant.Dan Foreman
For what it's worth, I enjoy talking to you more than anyone else.Carter Duryea
[on phone] Hello. Dan! Hey. Oh, my God. Congratulations. lt's amazing. Do you have a name yet? Oh, no, that's terrific. Uh, probably because l'm jogging. No, l'm outside. Yes. l'm actually jogging outside. Please Playa del Rey. Don't laugh. I'm thinking about getting into...Carter Duryea
Toula Portokalos: What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
Toula Portokalos: No, really.
Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.
Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age ... we didn't have food!Maria Portokalos
What do you mean he don't eat no meat? [the entire room stops, in shock] Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.Aunt Voula
Maria Portokalos: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."
Toula Portokalos: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.
You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end ... we all fruit.Gus Portokalos
I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"Toula Portokalos