Favorite Comedy Quotes
Aunt Voula: Toula. Toula! You're engaged. You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you. Never. *Never.* Taki, didn't we say that...
Uncle Taki: We never think this day would come. Never.
[describing Ian] A xeno with big, long, hair on top of his head!Gus Portokalos
Toula Portokalos: [narrating] My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non Greeks about being Greek and every ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy can be cured with Windex.
Gus Portokalos: [crying] Why you want to leave me?
Toula Portokalos: I'm not leaving you! Don't you want me to do something with my life?
Gus Portokalos: Yes! Get married, make babies! You look so... old!
[narration] My family is big and loud but they're my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And where ever I go, what ever I do they will always be there.Toula Portokalos
Toula Portokalos: There are three things that every Greek woman must do in life: marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone.
I gave you life so that you could live it.Maria Portokalos
Ma'am, I'm sure there are a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.John Winger
Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.John Winger
Well, my name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. I dont know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.Dewey Oxburger
[to the soldiers in his platoon] We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1.John Winger
Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.