Favorite Comedy Quotes
I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn't buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song...Julianne Potter
Maxwell Smart: [after he gets recruited as a new agent] I request a cone of silence.
Maxwell Smart: [he doesn't press the button hard enough so everyone can hear him] Oh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
Lloyd: Dude, you didn't press the button hard enough...
Maxwell Smart: Right.
Harry Sanborn: I love ya.
Erica Barry: Well, I love you too! If that's what you said. I don't know if it ends in a 'ya' if it's a true 'I love you.'
Harry Sanborn: You're not like anybody.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik
You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.Darald
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.Seagulls
Polexia Aphrodisia: Do you have any pot?
William Miller: No. I'm a journalist.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Well, go do your job then. You're on the road, man. It's all happening! Get in there. Go talk to 'em!
Border Crossing Agent: [from trailer ] Why are your eyes so glassy? You been partying?
Ethan Tremblay: No, I have glaucoma.
Border Crossing Agent: What about the dog? Does he have glaucoma? His eyes are glassy too.
I am ready to parrrtyyy.Annie
What's your name, Fruit Head?Grandpa Bud
This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets.Chon Wang
Where's the fucking money Lebowski?The Dude