Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ulysses Everett McGill: You ever been with a woman?
Delmar O'Donnell: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that.
Talk, you reconstructed welp of a whore!Interrogator
It seems that Mr. Stokes has a grudge against the Soggy Bottom Boys, on account of their rough and rowdy past.Pappy O'Daniel
And furthermore, by way of endorsing my candidacy, the Soggy Bottom Boys are gonna lead us all in a rousing chorus of "You Are My Sunshine."Pappy O'Daniel
Baptism! You two're just dumber'n a bag of hammers.Ulysses Everett McGill
Pete: The Preacher said it absolved us.
Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.
Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.
Ulysses Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.
Damn! We're in a tight spot!Ulysses Everett McGill
Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.Ulysses Everett McGill
I'll tell you what I am - I'm the damn paterfamilias! You can't marry him!Ulysses Everett McGill
Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.
Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.
Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.