Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ed Hocken: We heard about you and Jane.
Frank Drebin: Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her.
Momma, welcome to the sixties.Tracy Turnblad
I , Jackie Moon, will wrestle a bear.Jackie Moon
What was that? Did you just pick up another case? Did we just take another damn case on my vacation?James Carter
Buddy: You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
Buddy: You stink.
Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.
[to the other three] I'm just swimming here with my gay friends.Woody Stevens
I look quite pretty.Juliet
Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!Barf
There's no such thing as nothing.Bernard Jaffe
[helping sick Lindsay into pajamas] I won't look, I promise. Okay, I looked.Ben
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.
Don't hassle me about crumbs man, because I am on the edge of the edge.J-Man