Favorite Comedy Quotes
Scott: [on Jerry Springer show] How could you do this to me? On national television!
Dr. Evil: Well throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott.
Scott: Why did you run out on me?
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough. [audience boos] It's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.
Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants baby?
Felicity Shagwell: You can start by buying me a drink.
Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation.
Austin: Oh, bee-have.
Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it.
Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over.Felicity Shagwell
You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other.Jerry Springer
Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in 1967 and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis, Dr. Evil. After foiling his archenemy's plan to send a nuclear warhead to the center of the earth, Austin banished Dr. Evil to the cold recesses of space and settled down with his new wife, Vanessa, to live happily ever after. Or so he thought...Narrator
Oops. I did it again, baby.Austin Powers
I'm from Holland. Isn't that vierd?Goldmember
Britney Spears: Is it true what they say about you?
Mini-me: [whispers in her ear]
Britney Spears: Kickstand? Can I give you my cell phone number? Please?
Well, the future better get ready for me. 'Cause I'm Foxxy Cleopatra, and I'm a WHOLE LOTTA WOMAN.Foxxy Cleopatra
Mini-Me: [Mini-Me unzips his pants]
Nigel Powers: My lord! you're a tripod. What you been feedin' that thing, eh? It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple. Good thing is, if you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand!