Favorite Comedy Quotes
Dewey Finn: Now, what makes you mad more than anything in the world?
[sees Billy who has his hand raised]
Dewey Finn: Billy?
Dewey Finn: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you!
Dewey Finn: Okay, you see me after class
Dewey Finn: [on sticking it to "The Man"] Yes! But, you can't just say it, man. You've gotta feel it in you're blood and guts! If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at the man! And right now, I'm the man. That's right, I'm the man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off?
Freddy: Shut the hell up, Schneebly!
Dewey Finn: That's it Freddy, that's it! Who can top him?
Alicia: Get outta here, stupidass.
Dewey Finn: Yes, Alicia!
Summer Hathaway: You're a joke, you're the worst teacher I've ever had!
Dewey Finn: Summer, that is great! I like the delivery because I felt your anger!
Summer Hathaway: Thank you.
Lawrence: You're a fat loser and you have body odor.
Dewey Finn: ...All right, all right! Now, is everybody nice and pissed off?
Dewey Finn: Ok, here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?
Frankie: Doesn't that mean you're drunk?
Dewey Finn: No. It means I was drunk yesterday.
Freddy: It means you're an alcoholic.
Dewey Finn: Wrong.
Freddy: You wouldn't come to work with a hangover unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease!
Dewey Finn: Hmmm... hmmm... What's your name?
Freddy: Freddy Jones.
Dewey Finn: Ok, Freddy Jones, shut up!
OK, Ms DumBum ain't your teacher today, I am, and I have a headache and the runs. So I say, time for recess!Dewey Finn
Miss Mullins: Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Lemmons said that she heard music coming from the classroom.
Dewey Finn: Uh oh, it looks like Mrs. Lemmons is on crack, right kids?
Freddy: Are we going to be goofing off like this everyday?
Dewey Finn: We're not goofing off. We're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Ok, so are we going to be creating musical fusion everyday?
Dewey Finn: Yes.
Dewey Finn: In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight... to the guitar bite... and for those about to rock... I salute you.
Billy: You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself... look at that bow tie.
Dewey Finn: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie.
Sell my guitars? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?Dewey Finn
Dewey Finn: Look the first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera
Dewey Finn: Who? No. Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy
Dewey Finn: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?
Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They'll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno... because I'm fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika... Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.
Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?
You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass. And if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head.Dewey Finn