Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?Economics Teacher
Marty DiBergi: You two were at school together?
Nigel Tufnel: We're not university material.
David St. Hubbins: What's that on your finger?
Nigel Tufnel: It's my gum.
David St. Hubbins: What are you doing with it on your finger?
Nigel Tufnel: I might need it later.
David St. Hubbins: Put it on the table, that's terrible.
Nigel Tufnel: No, I might forget it on the table.
David St. Hubbins: [to Marty] Fucking awful, you can't take him anywhere.
Will you go to prom with me?Schmidt (to Jenko)
I swear to God, her name is Sauvingon Blanc. Show her your Chevron card.Ted
Dave: "I have decided who I want to be our new vice president of sales...me!"
Nick: "What did he say?"
Dave: "Nick? Please, we're in the middle of a meeting."
Dave: "That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem."
Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.
James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"
You don't say much my friend, but when you do it's to the point, and I salute you for it.Big Dan Teague
Get in loser, we're going shopping.Regina
The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.J.D.
Who wants cream? Nobody? Okay, no cream.Farva
Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.