Favorite Comedy Quotes
Aww, look at him, in his wee lil' boots! I mean, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?Shrek
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Does anybody have any ideas?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: What about... a phone... you can smell through...
John Milner: So, your Judy's little... Shit! How old are you?
Carol: I'm old enough. How old are you?
John Milner: I'm too old for you.
Carol: You can't be that old.
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.
Would anyone like... a peanut?Shaun
Yancy Devlin: You ladies ready to play a little Ultimate Frisbee?
Dan: I think so, Mr. Testosterone!
All I'm saying is, have it there, have it there, don't shove it down people's throat. I don't run around going, "I'm a gentile, look at my foreskin!" I don't shove it down your throat, because I don't care.Martin Gibb
Steve Barker: What's in that?
Glen: Milk, eggs, and meat.
Steve Barker: What kind of meat?
Glen: Raw meat!
Larabee: I'll do it sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you open your mouth?
Larabee: No, I tend to just whip it out there.
Angel Stripper: Oh I'm the weird one? You're the one calling Barry Mannilow from a phone booth at 2:00 am!
You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!Chip Douglas
Stephanie: [to Jack as she is beating him with her motorcycle helmet] I hope you die!
[stops beating Jack and looks at Miles]
Stephanie: You too!
Miles Raymond: Me?