Favorite Comedy Quotes
Ray: Do you think this is good?
Ken: Do I think what's good?
Ray: You know, going around in a boat, looking at stuff?
Ken: Yes, I do. It's called sight-seeing
Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: O, R they?
Ted: Do you think maybe you wanna maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner, you know, catch up on old times?
Mary: Didn't we just do that?
Ted: Oh, uh...
Mary: I'm fucking with you, Ted!
Ok, folks, the guy in front of you is Tommy, he's gonna be taking you through my little spiel here. Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking and he's never been laid.Richard Hayden
Reporter: How did you find America?
John: Turned left at Greenland.
Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!Angelo
Lou, Lou; a minute of your time. See, it says right there; no calisthentics. What do you think of that?Roger Dorn
Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?Nacho
Flirting is the second cousin of Cheating.Dave Buznik
J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.
Spock: He reminds me of someone I knew in my youth.
Bones: Why, Spock, I didn't know you had one.
Vinny Gambini: How many fingers am I holding up?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Let the record show that counselor is holding up two fingers.
Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, please!