Favorite Comedy Quotes
[after learning from an investigator that Margot had been previously married and has had affairs with both men and women] So, she smokes.Raleigh
I didn't think so much of him at first. But now I get it, he's everything that I'm not.Royal
Richie: I wrote a suicide note.
Chas: You did?
Richie: Yeah, right after I regained consciousness.
Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.Royal
[Telling everybody that Royal doesn't have cancer] I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it, and you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you got it.Henry Sherman
Chas: Are you okay?
Royal: Fuck do you care?
[after he faked a terminal illness, took residence in the house under false pretenses, tried to instigate a fight with his estranged wife's fiancÃ©, lied to his family and was found out] I know I'm going to be the bad guy here...Royal
Steve Zissou: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus Daimler: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Festival Director: [translating] That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve Zissou: Revenge.
I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.Steve Zissou
Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?Klaus Daimler
Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.Steve Zissou