Favorite Comedy Quotes
Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.Smokey
Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.Cady
Michael O'Neill: Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...
Julianne Potter: Passes you by...
Michael O'Neill: Passes you by...
No milk will ever be our milk.Veronica Vaughn
All right, I gotta get this speck up to the top of Mount Nool A.S.A.P, whatever that means, probably act swiftly awesome packaderm! I mean, how hard can that be?Horton
Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
Seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?The Mayor of Who-ville
The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.Magda
Joe Morelli: How does a person eat like you eat and look like you look?
Stephanie Plum: Hey, why are you messing with my Tasty Cakes, huh?!
Stephanie Plum: They blew up our car!
Joe Morelli: Excuse me, who's car?
Stephanie Plum: Your car. You want it back?
Jesus ChrisReverend Philip Shooter
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.Lotte Schwartz