Favorite Comedy Quotes
He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho, he helped Daniel get out the lion's den, he helped Gilligan get off the island.Rev. Brown
Lydia: Those three idiots crashed the party!
Mac: Who? The Kardashian girls?
Alan Garner: Hey Phil, look!
[laughs hysterically while miming the baby masturbating]
Alan Garner: He's jackin' his little weenus!
Phil Wenneck: Pull yourself together, bro!
Alan Garner: Not at the table, Carlos!
Surfing Instructor: If you get bitten by a shark, you're not just gonna give up surfing, are you?
Peter Bretter: ...yeah, probably
Mrs. Fox: You know, you really are... fantastic.
Mr. Fox: I try.
[about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.Harold
Jeremy Grey: [in response to the outfit he's wearing] I'm not even gunna say it, but you know I'm upset.
John Beckwith: Yes. But I think you look good.
Jeremy Grey: You know I don't look good.
Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal.Deputy Travis Junior
I can say what I want - I still got Nazi bullets in my ass.Grandpa
Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don't know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
Reuben Feffer: You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life.
Cotton McKnight: Oh! Right in the testicles!
Pepper Brooks: Ouchtown, population you, bro!
Jeffy just doesn't know what's happening to his body...Steve Barker