Favorite Comedy Quotes
Richie: I wrote a suicide note.
Chas: You did?
Richie: Yeah, right after I regained consciousness.
Hell of a damn grave. Wish it were mine.
Royal
[Telling everybody that Royal doesn't have cancer] I know what stomach cancer looks like. I've seen it, and you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you got it.
Henry Sherman
Chas: Are you okay?
Royal: Fuck do you care?
[after he faked a terminal illness, took residence in the house under false pretenses, tried to instigate a fight with his estranged wife's fiancé, lied to his family and was found out] I know I'm going to be the bad guy here...
Royal
Steve Zissou: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus Daimler: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Festival Director: [translating] That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve Zissou: Revenge.
I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet. Possibly with dynamite.
Steve Zissou
Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?
Klaus Daimler
Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
Steve Zissou
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they all share one.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: I need to find a baby for this father.
Steve Zissou: Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
