Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.



Detective John Kimble

If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.


Your wedding better watch it!


So... you guys wanna make out or what?

Doug Butabi

Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear.
Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.

Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight.
Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.

Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: [an old woman approaches them] And this must be your mother.
Rob Hilliard: My wife.
Roxanne Chase-Feder: I'm sorry!
Rob Hilliard: I'm not.
[kisses his wife]
Marcus Higgins: [onlooking] Oh, grody.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.


How many of you have self-help books? Okay, that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your *self* sucks!

Dr. P

Oh, oh check my pulse on this one, Jack. Do I think you're a psycho? Yes.

Greg Focker

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