Favorite Comedy Quotes
Royal: What the hell kind of way to act is that?
Richie: He's on drugs.
She's balling Eli Cash.Raleigh
Richie: Are we still friends?
Richie: Are we?
Eli: Of course. How can you even ask me that?
Richie: Doesn't matter.
Eli: Doesn't matter? It does matter.
Richie: I heard about you and Margot.
Eli: [long pause] I'm sorry.
Raleigh: Do you have an alternate?
Raleigh: Are there priests on call?
Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's NOT a genius? Do you especially think I'm NOT a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you?Eli
Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.Eli
Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin' the cemetery?Royal
Richie: Did you say you were on Mescaline?
Eli: I did indeed. Very much so.
Raleigh: You made a cuckold of me.
Margot: I know.
Raleigh: Many times over.
Margot: So sorry.
Royal: The past six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life.
Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.
Richie: Is it because of us?
Royal: Well, of course, certain sacrifices had to be made as a result of having children. But heavens, no.
Raleigh: Are you ever coming home?
Margot: Maybe not.
Raleigh: Well I want to die.