Steve Zissou: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus Daimler: Is he dead?
Steve Zissou: Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor before it dives too deep!
Klaus Daimler: He was bitten?
Steve Zissou: Eaten!
Klaus Daimler: [shocked] He was swallowed whole?
Steve Zissou: No! Chewed!

Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve Zissou: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.

Steve Zissou: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.

Bill Ubell: No, Captain! That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve Zissou: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Steve Zissou: You're supposed to be my son, right?
Ned Plimpton: I don't know. But I did want meet you, just in case.

Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.

Alistair Hennessey: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve Zissou: Jaguar shark.
Alistair Hennessey: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve Zissou: [hesitant] You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.

Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

Steve Zissou

We swam with the... Oh damn, I had it on the plane.

Oseary Drakoulias

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

Steve Zissou

Eleanor Zissou: Oh, Shit. What do you want?
Steve Zissou: Do you mind if I buddy up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor Zissou: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve Zissou: [takes a deep breath] I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor Zissou: No.
Steve Zissou: Okay. Could I go ahead and buddy up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.

We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm half gay.

Alistair Hennessey

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