[brainstorming] Paul Power... Paul for President... Paul... Promise... Progress... Peanut...

Paul Metzler

If you died right now, I would throw myself under one of my Dad's cement trucks so I could be poured into your tomb.

Tammy Metzler

My leg wasn't bugging me too much, and the weather was so nice, and every day after school Lisa and I would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub.

Paul Metzler

Sometimes when I'm sad, I sit and watch the power station. They say if you lie between two of the main wires, your body just evaporates... you become a gas. I wonder what that would feel like.

Tammy Metzler

[narrating] None of this would have happened if Mr. McAllister hadn't meddled the way he did. He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny. That's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer.

Tracy Flick

[her campaign speech] Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's going to change anything around here; make one single person smarter or happier or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one who gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year, and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college. So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college, and I don't care, and as president I won't do anything. The only promise I will make is that if elected I will immediately dismantle the student government, so that none of us will ever have to sit through one of these stupid assemblies again!

Tammy Metzler

Or don't vote for me... who cares? Don't vote at all!

Tammy Metzler

I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.

Paul Metzler

It's like my mom says, "The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong."

Tracy Flick

[narrating] Being suspended is like getting a paid vacation. Why do they think it's a punishment? It's like your dog pees on the carpet and you give him a treat. Then you get in trouble for skipping school, it's sooo stupid! Hendricks told me, "One more time" and I'd be expelled. Sounded good to me.

Tammy Metzler

Jim McAllister: Dave, I'm just saying this as your friend: What you're doing is really, really wrong... and you've gotta stop. The line you've crossed is... it's immoral... and it's illegal.
Dave Novotny: Jim, come on, I don't need a lecture on ethics.
Jim McAllister: I'm not talking about ethics, I'm talking about morals.
Dave Novotny: What's the difference?

[Jim is watching porn]
Adult Video Actor: Crystal! What are you doing here in the boy's locker room?
Adult Video Actress: Come to see the star quarterback before the big game.
Adult Video Actor: But what if Coach Henderson walks in?
Adult Video Actress: Oh, that's okay, I took care of him. So, uh, whatya reading?
Adult Video Actor: Oh, I'm just reviewing my playbook.
Adult Video Actress: I know a play we can practice: You be quarterback, I'll be tight-end.

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