Favorite Comedy Quotes
I'd do it again you know? Us, you, me the kids, all of it. I'd do it again. I'd choose you every time.Phil Foster
What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?Mel
Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.
Jesus ChrisReverend Philip Shooter
Leopard Seal: Come here, sausage. I take you with ketchup!
RamÃ³n: Yeah, but first you gotta catch up!
Emily: One time an assistant left the desk, because she, I don't know, sliced her hand open with a letter opener. Miranda missed Lagerfeld who had boarded a seventeen hour flight to Australia. She now works at TV Guide.
Andy Sachs: Man the desk at all times. Got it.
I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?Emily
Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: Fuckin' A, man. I got a rash, man.
Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
[Coach Skip is teaching Kristofferson the rules of Whackbat]
Coach Skip: Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and a player at Whackbat. Center tagger lights a pine cone and chucks it over the basket and the whack-batter tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock. Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls hotbox. Finally, you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine.
Kristofferson: Got it.
Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.