Favorite Comedy Quotes
You know what else can kill you? Doctors!Albert
My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug.Albert
Borat: Jagshemash! My name a-Borat! You did it! You make moviefilm have happy ending.
[Captain Jack Swallows comes on his wheel and runs Lucy, Peter, Susan and Edward over]
Justice: If I go to prison will you wait for me?
Jay: Hmm, I don't know. Will you fuck me when you get out?
Freeze! Don't you know the building is on fire?Detective John Kimble
[Gil sees Justin wearing nothing but a gunbelt]
Gil: That's what you're wearing to bed? You'll catch a cold!
[Justin puts on a cowboy hat]
Gil: Karen, how about after the kids are asleep... (referring to Justin.) I wear this outfit?
It's not about doing the things you love, it's about doing things with the one you love!Gary
[singing] He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much. Hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember. He's got a golden pad, he's super bad. Hey, Goldmember. Hey, Goldmember.Foxxy Cleopatra
Relax. Take it easy. Tension is the worst thing for a complexion.Velma Von Tussle
Mom, dad, it's me, Thomas. Um, where do I start? This is supposed to be a small get-together. I wanted to be cool for one night. You know, I wanted girls to notice me. Then things got a little out of control.Thomas
Michael Bolton: No, no. If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.
Samir: I don't want to go to ANY prison!
Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.Steve Zissou