Mom, Mom! Please, you are so weird, don't do this to me.

Rudy

Kangaroo: What do you think you're doing?
Tommy: Oh, you guys with worlds are in trouble!
Kangaroo: Have you forgotten what we've discussed?
Horton: Oh no, I'm an elephant and elephants never forget, it's a curse really! I remember, I was on my head and you said hmm and I looked up and you said ,what are you doing?, and I said the thing about the speck, then you pulled my ears and you poked me in the forehead...
Kangaroo: Horton!
Horton: Well you did.

[looking down the canyon] It's just a straight plummet to certain death.

Horton

This looks kinda... precarious. Well nothing to worry, obviously when they build a bridge like this they take into account that elephants will be crossing here.

Horton

Horton: Sorry, this is where we get off.
[slingshots Bad Vlad off tree]
Horton: Cool line, usually I can't think of those things until later.

I wonder what ASAP means anyways. Maybe act swiftly awesome pacaderm.

Horton

Horton: I have to think light. I'm light as a feather. I am light as a feather.
[a feather lands on the bridge and the plank gives way]
Horton: Heavy feather.

Holy crap on a shit sandwich!

Drillbit Taylor

l assume you're watching these because you're curious about sex... you know. Or filmmaking.

Helen

I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!

Julie

We'll throw away the TV. We'll perform Shakespeare in front of him.

Gil

Karen: He likes to butt things... with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.

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