Favorite Comedy Quotes
Gwen: [Mouths] What are you doing here?
Van Wilder: [Mouths] I don't know!
Harry: [as Eric tries to call the cops, believing he is an intruder] You don't understand... I'm dating your daughter!
Erica Barry: Oh my God! You're dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that was worse news?
Hancock: Who are we?
Mary Embrey: Gods, angels...Different cultures call us by different names. Now all of a sudden it's superhero.
Hancock: Are there more of us?
Mary Embrey: There were. They all died. It's just the two of us.
I'll juice ya up.Chip Douglas
All I want for Christmas is you.Judy
Kangaroo: What do you think you're doing?
Tommy: Oh, you guys with worlds are in trouble!
Kangaroo: Have you forgotten what we've discussed?
Horton: Oh no, I'm an elephant and elephants never forget, it's a curse really! I remember, I was on my head and you said hmm and I looked up and you said ,what are you doing?, and I said the thing about the speck, then you pulled my ears and you poked me in the forehead...
Horton: Well you did.
You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!Kevin
David: You still haven't met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Philip: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum too.
Ed: [singing] She's like butter!
Heather Duke: Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
Veronica Sawyer: A true friend's work is never done.
Heather Chandler: Gross.
Yeah, I had a girl cheat on me once, with both Liam Gallagher and Noel Gallagher.Aldous Snow
J.D.: Do you want anything to drink?
Judith: Scotch on the rocks
J.D.: Do you want ice with that?
Toshi: But, Mr. Dupree, I don't play baseball. I'm in the orchestra.
Dupree: First, call me Dupree. Second, so what if you're in the orchestra? So was Catfish Hunter.