Favorite Comedy Quotes
[to her children, about their father] Everthing about this is crazy. Especially him. But that doesn't make it any more fantastic.Mrs. Fox
Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.Cher
Lindsey Meeks: You don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background. You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro's pitching Friday.
Ben: No, on Saturday. Schilling's Friday.
[to Debbie] Hello. Buenos Noches. You sure you don't need a lift somewhere? Huh? Hey, you know John Milner? John Milner's a good friend of mine. Hey, did anybody ever tell you that you look just like Connie Stevens?Terry Fields
[on phone] Hello. Dan! Hey. Oh, my God. Congratulations. lt's amazing. Do you have a name yet? Oh, no, that's terrific. Uh, probably because l'm jogging. No, l'm outside. Yes. l'm actually jogging outside. Please Playa del Rey. Don't laugh. I'm thinking about getting into...Carter Duryea
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you're not doing it just to soften the blow?
C. K. Dexter Haven: No.
Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face.
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise to be yar.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.
Billy Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid!
[hangs up the phone]
Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Alec Baldwin: No, what?
Billy Baldwin: Nothing!
[to Lewis] I'm not allowed to look at the time machine, let alone drive it!Wilbur
My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful.Shelley
Harold: [yelling] How is that not the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally.
Banky Edwards: Where's Holden?
Hooper: I think he went to the bathroom.
Banky Edwards: That guy's got a bladder like an infant.
Hooper: That's funny. He says you're hung like an infant.
Banky Edwards: Does his mother tell him everything?
They broke my watch!Trooper La Fong