Favorite Comedy Quotes
Barbara: I don't get it, I mean where all the other dead people in the world?
Adam: Maybe this is heaven.
Barbara: In heaven there wouldn't be dust everywhere.
Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
Adam: [Trying too hard to be scary] WEEEE'RE GHOOOOOOOOOOSTS!
Preacher: Do you take this woman do be your wedded wife?
Beetlejuice: [Runs off to the side mumbling to himself] Oh man, I don't know, it's kind of a big decision isn't it... I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and that was it...
Beetlejuice: [Runs back to the altar and stands next to Lydia] Yeah, yeah, sure, right.
Adam: We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.
I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you!Juno
Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.Beetlejuice
I'm the ghost with the most, babe.Beetlejuice
Ah, ah, ah! Nobody says the "B" word!Beetlejuice
I don't see anything about heaven or hell. This book reads like stereo instructions.Adam
And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.Charles
Charles: What do you think honey?
Lydia: Delia hates it. I could live here.
Because if I tell you [my name], you tell your friends... your friends are calling me on the horn all the time, And I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell.Beetlejuice