Favorite Comedy Quotes
[greeting Robert at the King's and Queen's Ball]
Giselle: I'm surprised to see you here, too. You told me you can't dance.
Robert: I said I didn't. I never said I can't.
One more word and I'll hide your stash.Cam Wexler
Do you like it when I eat your penguin ass?Charlie
Charlie: What's sex without love?
Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window!
Bianca: Hi Daddy!
Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going?
Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group of friends.
Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy?
Chastity: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party!
Walter Stratford: And hell is just a sauna.
Bianca: Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"?
Kat Stratford: As opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?
Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me?
Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"?
Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father".
Bianca: She did not.
Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up!
Patrick: Not a big talker, huh?
Kat Stratford: Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy.
Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.
Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you.
Kat Stratford: You think?
Cameron: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time.
Patrick: Cameron, do you like the girl?
Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble?
Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know, I...
Patrick: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it.