Favorite Comedy Quotes
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
Emmett: You know what I thought when I first met you?
Elle: God, that woman wears a lot of pink?
Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except for date rapes and AIDS jokes.J.D.
The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.Bernard Jaffe
Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.Shooter McGavin
[sitting watching "Ghost" and crying] God, I'm a fag.Tank
Joan Baxter: Maybe God didn't mean a flood in the literal sense. Maybe he meant a flood of... awareness.
Evan Baxter: If that's true... I'm going to be so pissed.
Erica Barry: What are you doing here, Harry?
Harry: Turns out the heart attack was easy to get over. You... were something else. I finally get it. I'm 63 years old... and I'm in love for the first time in my life.
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus
[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!Walter Sobchak
Hell to the no!Rasputia
Frank: So who do you hang around with?
Dwayne: [shakes head]
Frank: No one?
Dwayne: [writes "I Hate Everyone"]
Frank: What about your family?
Dwayne: [underlines "Everyone"]