Favorite Comedy Quotes
Dr Ray Stantz: Are you okay?
Louis: Who are you guys?
Dr Ray Stantz: We're the Ghostbusters.
Louis: Who does your taxes?
Dr Ray Stantz: You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual.
Louis: I know!
Dr Ray Stantz: You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
Louis: Felt great.
Dr. Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
Tommy: I... I left a message.
Richard Hayden: A message? What number did you call?
Tommy: Two, four, niner, five, six, seven...
Richard Hayden: I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?
Tommy: No, it was cordless.
Richard Hayden: You know what? Don't. Not here, not now.
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Where can I find Van Wilder?
Wasted Guy: In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man... under "Raddest Fucking Dude Alive"!
Vance Wilder, Sr.: Ok. Thanks.
Wasted Guy: In any one of these three rooms, Gramps.
I didn't stay in college for nine years just to go back to my trailer in Idaho!Carrie Mae
Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?Cher
Dave: "I have decided who I want to be our new vice president of sales...me!"
Nick: "What did he say?"
Dave: "Nick? Please, we're in the middle of a meeting."
Dave: "That's alright, I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem."
Dory: Cooome baaaaack.
Marlin: He's not coming back. You offended him.
Dory: Maybe a different dialect. Mmmmoooooowaaaaah...
Marlin: Dory! This is not whale. You're speaking like, upset stomach.
Dory: Maybe I should try humpback.
Marlin: No, don't try humpback.
Dory: Woooooo! Woooooo!
Marlin: Okay, now you really do sound sick.
Dory: Maybe louder. Rah! Rah!
Marlin: Don't do that!
Dory: Too much orca. Did it sound a little orca-ish to you?
Marlin: It doesn't sound orca. It sounds like nothing I've ever heard!
Nemo: Are you all right?
Dory: I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I... I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Nemo: It's okay, it's okay. I'm looking for somebody too. Hey, we can look together.
Dory: I'm Dory.
Nemo: I'm Nemo.
Dory: Nemo? ... That's a nice name.
Jay: I am gonna hang your old ass by your turban.
Mooj: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?
Jock: [at a party] What's up, babes?
Womynist #1: Pack up your rape culture and take a hike!
Jock: [holds up a beer] You want a brew dog?
Womynist #1: We're not interested in your penis!
Womynist #2: Wait, wait, I think he's offering us a beer.
[singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.Stan
Emily: We can't just throw him out in the snow.
Walter: Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.