Favorite Comedy Quotes
Donkey: Shrek, you know how ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh, aye?
Donkey: Well, donkeys don't have no layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek: But Donkey, donkeys don't wear sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a boiling lake of lava.
With desire, focus, and the willingness to treat every obstacle as an opportunity, it's amazing what you can accomplish.Mini
Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."
Cher: "Second notice on an outstanding ticket." I don't remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The TICKET is the first notice.
Marlin: Now, what's the one thing we have to remember about the ocean?
Nemo: It's not safe.
Marlin: That's my boy.
I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.Claire Standish
This is not a cheer-ocracy, I am the cheer-tator, I will make the cheer-isions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences.Priscilla
[to Jake] Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!Willie Mays Hayes
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss* ...
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us* ...
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm* ...
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm* ...
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Officer: Okay, you're out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California, ever again. Ever.
Frank: I think we can live with that.
Penny Lane: How old are you?
William Miller: Eighteen.
Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
William Miller: Seventeen.
Penny Lane: Me too!
William Miller: Actually, I'm sixteen.
Penny Lane: Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different.
William Miller: I'm fifteen.
Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.Bruce