Favorite Comedy Quotes
Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Please. I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak... Well, maybe you do, but that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!
[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!Walter Sobchak
Put it on my tab.Dan Burns
Gentlemen start your engines! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!Neil Patrick Harris
Lord Cutler Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm as your father believes.
Elizabeth Swann: Then what is?
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Peter Gibbons: You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we're bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.Billy Mack
Hell to the no!Rasputia
Is that... is that hair gel?Mary
I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.Columbus
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
Emily: One time an assistant left the desk, because she, I don't know, sliced her hand open with a letter opener. Miranda missed Lagerfeld who had boarded a seventeen hour flight to Australia. She now works at TV Guide.
Andy Sachs: Man the desk at all times. Got it.