I love being an American.

General Aladeen

Nick: High five
Jacob: Did you just say, 'high five' instead of high giving?
Lou: High five
Jacob: You don't have the energy for this?
Nick: High five

Maxwell Smart: [after he gets recruited as a new agent] I request a cone of silence.
Maxwell Smart: [he doesn't press the button hard enough so everyone can hear him] Oh, I'm so happy! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life!
Lloyd: Dude, you didn't press the button hard enough...
Maxwell Smart: Right.

Bear... bearfucker, do you need assistance?

Officer Smy

William Miller: I have to go home.
Penny Lane: You are home.

Lee: Just try to blend in.
James Carter: What do you mean, "blend in"? I'm two feet taller than everybody in here!

Mikey Abromowitz: They do it for the joy and the rapture and the slow-motion instant replay...
Reggie Belafonte: Say, why don't you go over to the snack bar and get yourself a big plate of shut up?

You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.


Who loves ya, baby?


Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.


Gill: My first escape. Landed on dentist tools. I was aiming for the toilet.
Nemo: The toilet?
Gill: All drains lead to the ocean, kid.
Nemo: Wow. How may times have you tried to get out?
Gill: Ah, I lost count.

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