Joe Morelli: How does a person eat like you eat and look like you look?
Stephanie Plum: Hey, why are you messing with my Tasty Cakes, huh?!

Jesus Chris

Reverend Philip Shooter

I never thought my dad would be my best friend.

Wilbur

Ms. Perky: So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Mugatu

It stinks like sex in here.

Thorny

Gloria Cleary: You're really talented.
Jeremy Grey: I can go on all day. Last week I made, to scale, a balloon model of Wrigley Field. I don't have anywhere to put it.
Gloria Cleary: I'll have a sports car.
Jeremy Grey: How about a dance?
Gloria Cleary: That's what I really wanted.

Raoul Duke: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.

Lou: "Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a f***?"

Phil: "It happened again."
Tracy: "Seriously, what is wrong with you three?"

[Dentist drills and patient screams]
Peach: Now he's using the Schilder technique.
Bloat: He's been favoring that one lately. He's using a Hedstrom file.
Gurgle: That's not a Hedstrom file, that's a K-flex.
Bloat: It has a teardrop cross section, clearly it's a HEDSTROM.
Gurgle: No, it's a K-FLEX.
Bloat: HEDSTROM.
Gurgle: K-FLEX.
Bloat: HEDSTROM.

I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit... stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!

Katinka [to Matilda]

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