Favorite Comedy Quotes
Bear... bearfucker, do you need assistance?Officer Smy
[quoting Benjamin Franklin] Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.Tom Dobbs
Andrew Largeman: There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of missed.
Sam: There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of WISH I missed.
Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.Donkey
Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro, how do you feel about that one?
Pedro: It looks nice.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it's... it's incredible.
Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Please. I don't wanna go back there. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak... Well, maybe you do, but that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!
Scarface: Yo I'm Cuban, B!
Samson Simpson: Yes, Cuban B.
Why did G-Girl throw a shark at us?Hannah Lewis
[holding corn in both hands]
Nacho: Get that corn outta my face!
Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
Farva: It's powdered sugar.
Police Chief Grady: The lice hate the sugar.
Farva: [deadpanning] It's delicious.
Miranda Hobbes: The only two choices for women; witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie Bradshaw: Oh you just said a mouthful there sister.
Dory: Have you seen a clown fish swim by? It looks just like him.
[points at Nemo]
Nemo: But bigger.
Crab: Yeah, I saw him, Bluey, but I'm not telling you where he went, and there's no way you're gonna make me.
[Dory holds crab out of water]
Seagulls: Mine. Mine. Mine.
Crab: Ahh! All right! I'll talk! I'll talk! He went to the fishing grounds!