Favorite Comedy Quotes
You're a bunch of fuckin' elephants!Ray
Who wants to play with Willy?Willy
Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the polarity flow through the gate.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] We'll cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: 'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Dr Ray Stantz: Cross the streams...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client - the nice lady, *who paid us in advance*, before she became a dog...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely a *very slim* chance we'll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I'm excited it could work! LET'S DO IT!
Dory: Cooome baaaaack.
Marlin: He's not coming back. You offended him.
Dory: Maybe a different dialect. Mmmmoooooowaaaaah...
Marlin: Dory! This is not whale. You're speaking like, upset stomach.
Dory: Maybe I should try humpback.
Marlin: No, don't try humpback.
Dory: Woooooo! Woooooo!
Marlin: Okay, now you really do sound sick.
Dory: Maybe louder. Rah! Rah!
Marlin: Don't do that!
Dory: Too much orca. Did it sound a little orca-ish to you?
Marlin: It doesn't sound orca. It sounds like nothing I've ever heard!
What's up little tampon?Noah
Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.
Ed Hocken: You might end up dead!
Frank Drebin: "You might end up dead" is my middle name.
Ed Hocken: What about Jane?
Frank Drebin: I don't know her middle name.
Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?Frank
Sloane: What could happen to it? It's in a garage.
Cameron: It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong... a pigeon could shit on it! Who knows?
Stu Price: So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
Alan Garner: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before.
Stu Price: You found a baby before? Where?
Alan Garner: Coffee Bean.
Hedley Lamarr: [cuts in line] You dropped your beads. One please... Uhh... Student?
Cashier: Are you kidding?
Hedley Lamarr: Pain in the ASS...
Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!Buddy