I love you. And I'm about to boldly go where... many men have gone before.

William Miller

Dr. Gonzo: Music, man. Put that tape on.
Raoul Duke: What tape?
Dr. Gonzo: Jefferson Airplane, "White Rabbit." I need a rising sound.
Raoul Duke: You're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that fucking tub.

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Walter Sobchak

Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, party. Bonus.

Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

Each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset ... PEOPLE DIE!

Dr. Evil

Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?

Kirk Lazarus

Nicholas Angel: You don't mind a bit of manpower, do ya Doris?
PC Doris Thatcher: [laughing] Oh, cheeky bastard!

Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.


I'm going to murder-ball you!


Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.


Thanks for the free money, Bitch.


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