Favorite Comedy Quotes
When the fantasy has ended/and all the children are gone/something good inside me/helps me to carry on/I ate some bugs/I ate some grass/I used my hand to wipe my tears/to kiss your mouth/I break my vows/no no no no no no way Jose/unless you want to/then we break our vows togetherNacho
John: You don't think she's gonna be expecting something big, do you?
Ted: What, like anal?
Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.
James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"
Brad Hamilton: Arnold, do you want to work at All-American Burger?
Arnold: Yeah, well, um...
Brad Hamilton: I can probably get you in there. Just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.
Charlie Donovan: How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Lou Brown: Gee, I don't know...
Charlie Donovan: What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
Lou Brown: Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.
Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.
Jack: What did he say?
Peter: He said the train is lost.
Jack: How can a train be lost? It's on rails.
Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!Shaun
Incredible; that guy is the Deion Sanders of retards.Michael
That is a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.Garth Algar
Ronnie Barnhardt: Yuens, you guys are my infantry. One of you dies, God gave me another one.
Matt Yuen: Okay.
John Yuen: Awesome.
Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear!
Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man.