Favorite Comedy Quotes
Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.Metatron
Marlin: [inside the whale] What's going on?
Dory: I'll ask. Whaaaa...
Marlin: No, no more whale! You can't speak whale!
Dory: Yes I can!
Marlin: No, you can't! You think you can do these things, but you can't, Nemo!
Jane: I never do anything like this.
Kevin: I know.
Jane: You do?
Kevin: Yes, you kept repeating that over and over last night - I never do anything like this... I NEVER do anything like this... I never do ANYTHING like this...
[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank god for rednecks!Tallahassee
Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No thank you, I don't wear them.
Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.Cher
It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!Barf
My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments.Thurgood Jenkins
Zooey, you're about to marry a pleasure giver that's for sure.Sydney
All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no 'vista', there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.Rhonda Deane
Dr. Patel: I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off.
Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!
Kah Mun Rah: Any questions?
Al Capone: Ya. Why are you wearing a dress?
Kah Mun Rah: It's not a dress. It's a TUNIC!