Throw to first... Hayes is picked off! Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.

Harry Doyle

[to the Dude] Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.

Malibu Police Chief

You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.

Envy Adams

What the city council did was really... give me a challenge, and it's a challenge that I am going to... accept. It's like in the olden days, in the... days of France, when men would slap each other with their gloves... say, y'know...”D'Artagnan!"... y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and... smack 'em!

Corky St. Clair

Is that... is that hair gel?

Mary

Jeffy just doesn't know what's happening to his body...

Steve Barker

Lou: Hey, Gil, our boys finally gonna win one game?
Gil: Way to be supportive, Lou.

[watching the elephant seals]
Raul: I don't think they are penguin eaters, are they?
Ramón: I believe they are herbivores.
Raul: Uh?
Ramón: You know, kelp suckers!

That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.

Jay

I wish monkeys could skype.

Alan

MacGruber: "Don't worry we got your back. We're only 7 blocks away. So if anything goes down..."
Vicki St. Elmo: "7 blocks?"
MacGruber: "Okay, you got me. About 20 blocks."
Vicki St. Elmo: "Wasn't there anything closer?"
MacGruber: "Nope."
Lt. Dixon Piper: "There were tons of spots closer."
MacGruber: "Yeah, with meters!"

Peter La Fleur: Hey, White. I didn't think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
White Goodman: Yes, I did.

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