Favorite Comedy Quotes
Please don't touch my ruffles. Put that one back.Gary
It makes my hair shine like the Belt of Orion.Chazz
John Lennon is rolling over in his grave to hide the giant boner you just gave him!David Marshall
Roger Dorn: Let's cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this mother fucker out."
Oh my God, I'm getting pulled over. Everyone, just... pretend to be normal.Richard
Lt. Frank Drebin: Now, Jane, what can you tell us about the man you saw last night?
Jane Spencer: He's Caucasian.
Ed Hocken: Caucasian?
Jane Spencer: Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three.
Lt. Frank Drebin: Awfully big moustache.
I never thought my dad would be my best friend.Wilbur
Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a black man!
White Rastas: That's right mon!
Mr. Morgan: Don't even get me started on you two!
White Rastas: [Mumble to themselves]
Lou: Hey, Gil, our boys finally gonna win one game?
Gil: Way to be supportive, Lou.
Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen of those since 1995.Patrick Patrickson
You're a smooth smooth, you know.Gaer Grimsrud
Artie, Lin is not a killer. She's just a really, really, really hot, confused, Chinese girl.Roy