Favorite Comedy Quotes
You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't of slept with that guy?' We could be that mistake!Seth
Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. Tonight's about changing the game.Costa
You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus.Raoul Duke
I just went from six to midnight.Matthew
Couscous - the food so nice they named it twice.Dale Denton
Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.Sid Garner
Darla: I'm a piranha! They're in the Amazon!
Dentist: And a piranha is a fish, just like your present!
Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!Exchange student
Mr. Chow: Did you die?
Phil: No, but i was shot.
Mr. Chow: But did you die?
How many pots have you smoken?Andy Stitzer
Korean Mother: Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.
Ling Ling: Hi mom.
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Nihilist: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.
Walter Sobchak: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
The Dude: Hey, cool it Walter.
Walter Sobchak: No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Nihilist #2: His girlfriend gave up her toe!
Nihilist #3: She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Nihilist #2: Iss not fair!
Walter Sobchak: FAIR!! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE!? WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?