Favorite Comedy Quotes
Kenny Fisher: 'Sup, ladies? Yo Jana, wanna dance?
Jana: I'm allergic.
Kenny Fisher: You're allergic to dancing?
Jimmy: Hey could you help me?
Little Kid: Strangers are danger.
[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.Aunt Voula
Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.
All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no 'vista', there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.Rhonda Deane
Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist.
Kat Stratford: Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
Patrick: Then what did I have an effect on?
Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?Kirk Lazarus
Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.
Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.Van Wilder
Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence!
This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.Lieutenant Jim Dangle
Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.