Favorite Comedy Quotes
This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.Lieutenant Jim Dangle
I want to give this child a typical African-American name. Ojay.BrÃ¼no
Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.
Yes it is. You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.Sally Albright
Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America.
Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Roger Dorn: Shit, Harris.
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
There's a fly in the ointment, shits hittin' the fan, the lion will speak!Saul
Prince Edward: Have you any last words?
Robert: You have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words.
Royal: Can I say something to you, Henry?
Henry Sherman: Okay.
Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. Uhh, that's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal, I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.
Joe Morelli: How does a person eat like you eat and look like you look?
Stephanie Plum: Hey, why are you messing with my Tasty Cakes, huh?!
Jesus ChrisReverend Philip Shooter
[Inside the whale] I have to get out of here! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!Marlin