Favorite Comedy Quotes
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now.Elwood
Mr. Fox: Mole! What d'you got?
Mole: I can see in the dark.
Mr. Fox: We can use that. Rabbit?
Rabbit: I'm fast.
Mr. Fox: Badger?
Badger: Demolitions expert.
Mr. Fox: What? Since when?
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry Burns: I was being nice.
...and very important, DO NOT do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat...Rufus
Donkey: Shrek, you know how ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh, aye?
Donkey: Well, donkeys don't have no layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek: But Donkey, donkeys don't wear sleeves.
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a boiling lake of lava.
With desire, focus, and the willingness to treat every obstacle as an opportunity, it's amazing what you can accomplish.Mini
Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."
Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of everything else, a gigantic god damned hotel bill to deal with. How would Horatio Alger handle this situation?Raoul Duke
Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.Ryan
Marlin: Now, what's the one thing we have to remember about the ocean?
Nemo: It's not safe.
Marlin: That's my boy.
I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.Claire Standish
This is not a cheer-ocracy, I am the cheer-tator, I will make the cheer-isions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences.Priscilla