Favorite Comedy Quotes
You did everything penguinly possible.RamÃ³n
Evan: It's not just making them smaller. They completely reshaped them. They make them more supple, symmetrical.
Seth: I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move.
Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked.
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!
[to Puss-in-Boots] I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been filled.Donkey
You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.Sidney Deane
Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal.Deputy Travis Junior
Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.
Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark.
Marlin: I highly doubt it.
Nemo: Have how ever met a shark?
Marlin: No, and I don't plan to.
Nemo: How old are sea turtles?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know.
Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next door, he says they live to be 100.
Marlin: Well, if I ever meet a sea turtle I'll ask him, right after I'm done talking to the shark.
I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!Steve Stifler
Well, congratulations numb nuts... you've succeeded in turning me into a frickin' Jack in the box. Get it off! Get it off! It's dark, it's dark!Dr. Evil
Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!
Mother Nature just pissed her pants, dude!Cody