Favorite Comedy Quotes
Olive: Do you think there's a Heaven?
Frank: Well, it's hard to say, Olive. I don't think anyone knows for sure.
Olive: I know, but what do you think?
Frank: Well... um... uh...
Olive: I think there is.
Frank: Think I'll get in?
Be her Daddy!Steve Stifler
Marlin: I can't afford any more delays and you're one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it's a good thing. There's a whole group of fish. They're delay fish.
Dory: You mean... You mean you don't like me?
Marlin: No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.
No milk will ever be our milk.Veronica Vaughn
I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Let's shape things up. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring...Danny
I am never satisfied... it is a curse!Chazz
You wanna fuck on me?Mr. Chow
They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!Nacho
I'm a virgin. I always have been.Andy Stitzer
License and registration... chicken fucker.Farva
Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.Metatron
Marlin: [inside the whale] What's going on?
Dory: I'll ask. Whaaaa...
Marlin: No, no more whale! You can't speak whale!
Dory: Yes I can!
Marlin: No, you can't! You think you can do these things, but you can't, Nemo!