Popular Comedy Quotes
Stinky Pete the Prospector: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is going to take you to college, or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.
Woody: [pets Bullseye the Horse, then suddenly decides to stay] Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?
Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
Bruce: So, what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?
Marlin: Nothing, we're not doing anything, we're not even out.
Bruce: Great! Then how would you little morsels like to come to a little - a little get-together I'm having?
Dory: You mean like a party?
Bruce: Yeah, that's it, a party! What do you say?
Dory: Oh, I love parties! That sounds like fun.
Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with hairless vagine?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette.
Harold: ...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?
Is it just me, or does every woman in Queens have some kind of an emotional problem?Prince Akeem
Rabinowitz: What are you reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: It's not what I'd hoped for.
... I got nothing.Silent Bob
Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.Frank
I did inhale because I thought 'What the hell, it's lit, it's in my hand, I'll inhale it.'Tom Dobbs
Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.