Popular Comedy Quotes
I'm going to murder-ball you!Jonah
Agent 23: If you don't follow the rules here then what are we?
The Chief: I'm telling you what we're not, we're not people who jam staples into other people's heads, that's CIA crap!
Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.
Sam Eagle: CIA!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: Interpol!
Sam Eagle: This is my travel badge, here's my real badge!
Jean Pierre Napoleon: You must have been looking at the wrong badge!
Sam Eagle: You were saying?
Fuck it! I'm... I'm gay!Ed
Alex O'Donnell: [after watching Mike dance with Scarlet] Do you dance with all your friends moms?
Mike O' Donnell: Pretty much...
Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It's an ability.Marty Barasco
[praying over Heather's casket] Hi, I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nicer place. Amen. Did that sounded bitchy?Veronica Sawyer
Bruce: Mitch, girl go pee-pee not something I want to see-see.
Ox: I agree-gree.
You're like one of those women from Flavor of Love. 'I'm gonna kill you'Peter Bretter
Now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something!Jack Sparrow
King Arthur: One, two, five!
Sir Galahad: Three sir!
King Arthur: Three!