Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.

Smokey

George Simmons: So, which room is yours?
Ira Wright: Prepare to take a hike, because you're standing in it.

Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You gotta ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.

There's a tiny person on that speck that needs my help!

Horton

Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?

Rita

You have to go where the love is. And the love for me, right now, is in Miami, not Blaine.

Dr. Pearl

Bobby: Have you ever seen a horse race before? Have you ever, like, heard one on the radio?
James Brennan: Harness racing or, like, the normal kind?
Paulette: That's a good question.
Bobby: That doesn't really matter. Look, the Kentucky Derby, have you seen the Kentucky Derby? The way they announce it on the radio, and it's really...
Paulette: Yeah, 100, 200, going...
Bobby: That's an auction, sweetie.
Paulette: Right.

You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!

Bill

You can stick this marriage right in your bottom.

Wendy

God bless the Internet.

Finch

Chicken! September 22nd would be a good day for chicken!

Evan Baxter

I look like someone's homophobic aunt!

Susan Cooper

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