Popular Comedy Quotes
Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.
Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements; size, color, frequency, I"LL CALL YA LATER!Fletcher
Glen: I work at Burger King.
Gary: You want fries with that.
Phil: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute?
Rita: I don't know. Can you?
[over the phone]
Matt Saunders: What's going on there?
Vaughn Haige: Some big fire on 73rd and Broadway. Everything's burning.
Matt Saunders: Is anyone hurt?
Vaughn Haige: I don't know, probably. It's blocking my way to the gym.
Matt Saunders: All my thoughts are with you in this time of crisis.
Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.
Mr. Vargas: Are you in my class?
Jeff Spicoli: I am today.
Nigel Powers: [rubs throat] Ow...
Austin Powers: What's wrong with your neck?
Nigel Powers: I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.
Austin Powers: I thank you!
Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.Phil
This is all going to end badly.Banky Edwards
Lester Bangs: They make you feel cool. And hey. I met you. You are not cool.
William Miller: I know. Even when I thought I was, I knew I wasn't.
Ned: Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!
Phil: Hi, thanks for watching.
Ned: Hey now, don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you!
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned... Ryerson!