Popular Comedy Quotes
Shakari... the source... Heaven... Eden... call it what you will. The Klingons call it "Kuitu". For Romulans it's "Vortavor". The Andorian word is... is unpronouncable.Sybok
I sure was surprised the day Lisa Flanagan asked me for a ride home and ended up blowing me.Paul Metzler
I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.Nick
And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.Reg Hartner
Is this something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?Pee-wee
Andy Stitzer: I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment.
David: There's some really great stuff in here. Really great movies in here, man. Hey, did you ever see School of Rock?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
David: Well, this is... It's called School of... You know...
Andy Stitzer: That's nice.
David: But it stars Jack Black Cock.
Andy Stitzer: That makes sense.
You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.Cameron
Max: Good God, he licked me.
Lemon: Edward, don't lick Max.
Tucker: Really? Where would I have seen your work?
Pat Healy: Well, have you been to, uh well, let me see... Santiago, Chile?
Tucker: Twice last year. Which building's yours?
Pat Healy: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
Tucker: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
Pat Healy: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers. It's quite a fine example, in fact. I recommend that next time you're up that way that you drop in and take a gander at it yourself.
I'm not infectin the community. I got papers to prove Im not infected...Rickey
Dave Harken: You options are.
Dale Arbus: Legal options.
Dave Harken: JACK SHIT.
Dale Arbus: I heard Jack Lebowitz is that an attorney I'm going to write that down Jack Lebowitz.
Kurt Buckman: Got to be can we get his contact info please.
[As Annie's teeth is blackened by what she is eating, looking like she is missing teeth]
Annie: I don't need dental work.
Lillian: You are right.
Annie: There is nothing wrong with my teeth.
Lillian: You are so beautiful. Will you marry me?