Popular Comedy Quotes
Kelly: We need somebody who can take charge of this place, or else we and all these animals are gone.
Benjamin: So your question is...
Kelly: Why did you buy this place?
Benjamin: Why not?
Matthew: [high] Heyyy, it's my competition! Ryan, what's up my man?
Ryan: Jesus, what happened to you?
Matthew: Just living life, my man.
Gary: You and Jill are so alike!
Jack: We are nothing alike, I promise you.
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Mrs. Dashwood: Surely you're not going to deprive us of beef as well as sugar.
Elinor Dashwood: There is nothing under 10 pence a pound we must economise.
Mrs. Dashwood: Do you want us to starve?
Elinor Dashwood: No. Just not to eat beef.
I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.Helen's Stepson
Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip: What kind of place?
Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
Robert Philip: A hollow tree?
Giselle: Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.
Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. You wanna become a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser?
Justin: Yeah. Why?
Peter La Fleur: Nothing. High school's changed a bit since I was a kid.
I didn't think so much of him at first. But now I get it, he's everything that I'm not.Royal
Glad I'm wearing a diaper.'Baby' Brent