Terry: All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there's a problem: you're not any good.
Happy Gilmore: I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I've seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK.

Norbit: Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
Rasputia: Say Tuesday again, you ain't gonna live to see Wednesday.

Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!


Tom Smykowski: Well... well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.

Thorny: Are you okay?
College Boy 2: Yeah, sure.
Thorny: Yes sir?
College Boy 2: Yes sir.
Thorny: No, did you say "yes sir."?
Rabbit: I think he said "yeah, sure."
College Boy 1: What'd you say man?
College Boy 2: When I said, "yeah, sure", but what... literally what I said was "yeah, sure, sir."
Thorny: So you are okay then?
College Boy 2: Yes sir.

Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane... Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!

Alan Garner

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!

Kenny: I love horses.
Cop: I love horses.
Kenny: I love Butterstuff.
Cop: Buttercup!
Kenny: Butternuts!
Kenny: Cup!

I was born to love you / I was born to lick your face / I was born to rub you / but you were born to rub me first /... What do you say we take this out on the patio?

Ty Webb

I'm putting together a team. Its filled with American heroes with over 100 years of combined combat experience... and a whole lot of brotherhood.


I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."


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