Popular Comedy Quotes
Worrying about your kids is sanity, and being that sane... can drive you nutsJohn Clasky
[yells] Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!Andy Stitzer
Ty Webb: This your place, Carl?
Carl Spackler: Yeah, whatta ya think?
Ty Webb: It's really... awful.
Carl Spackler: Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know... credit trouble.
Shelley: [puts on Natalie's glasses] God, you need to go to the eye doctor!
Natalie: I did. That's where I got my glasses.
I never said I was a golden god... did I?Russell Hammond
George Stark: You're late!
Albert: For what?
George Stark: Fair enough.
Mya: I don't go out with guys who don't open the door for me.
Mya: Yes. No he didn't...
In some countries, my hair is considered currency.General George Armstrong Custer
Sam: Wow. That's pretty damn random of you there, Andrew. Nice to meet you, can I use you?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: It must be the Hollywood in you.
God bless the Internet.Finch
I'll drop kick you across the restaurant.Dan Foreman
Good lord. God protect that poor little stooge.Oseary Drakoulias