Popular Comedy Quotes
Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica Sawyer: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.
Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.Loki
I mean, I've heard that women do fake orgasms, but I've never seen it... It really, deeply upset me.Aldous Snow
Fritz: Look, honey, Italian food!
Petunia: I WANTED A SLOPPY JOE!
Soon, the city will be mine and Vigo's... mainly Vigo's.Janosz
I think you will find me a slasher... of prices!Simon Skinner
E.B.: What are the newspapers for?
Fred: You know you're an animal, so..
E.B.: Oh, I understand. I'll just sleep down here, among my poo and pee, like a pig.
Michael O'Neill: Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...
Julianne Potter: Passes you by...
Michael O'Neill: Passes you by...
All right, Lewis, knock em' dead. That was a figure of speech. Please don't kill anyone.Mr. Willerstein
Ed McDonnough: You mean you ... busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What my brother here means to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
Just call me Darth Balls... Bong.Jay