Popular Comedy Quotes
Bart Simpson: I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night. Oh... what's that word...
Todd Flanders, Rod Flanders: Consistency?
Bart Simpson: Thanks losers.
Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
[rides a moped up a ramp] I AM SO BADASS!Susan Cooper
That movie has warped my fragile little mind.Cartman
You screwed up their lives? And by doing that, you decided to screw up our lives? Asshole!Doug Madsen
[narrating] I wanted to run away that day, but you can't run away from your own feet.Flint Lockwood
Why don't you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!Gayle Sweeny
Doves make you look bad-ass!Jenko
Grace: You still have to go over there, the nurse is waiting.
Bruce: Oh, do I have to?
Grace: Oh, it's not going to hurt. In fact I think you might find it quite pleasurable.
George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex." Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?Ollie
Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
Nick Portokalos: Listen, you know. I really think you should say: eho tria orchidea. It means: everyone, let's come in the house. I think everybody will really like it.
Ian Miller: Eho tria orchidea?
Nick Portokalos: Yeah! That's good! Very good! You got it!
Ian Miller: I'm not falling for that again, Nick.
Nick Portokalos: What?
Ian Miller: Yeah, what. Angelo? How do you say: everyone, let's go into the house?
Angelo: Eho tria orchidea!
Nick Portokalos: Hum?
Ian Miller: Everyone: eho tria orchidea! [translation: "I have three testicles!"]